17 Oct We are changing how we live. But what about how we die?
Choice: How Funeral Services and Rituals are changing………………..
It’s 2022 and we are driving electric cars, drinking matcha lattes from keep cups and ordering vegan sausages. Our homes are being installed with solar panels, we are sporting trendy compost bins and we are planting more trees. We are changing how we live. But what about how we die? And in particular, the choices now surrounding funeral services and rituals.
We reduce our carbon footprint with many of our day to day choices, we recycle and we reuse. We derive clean, pure energy from the sun. We are more aware. We talk of a lasting legacy when our loved ones die but do we ever consider our lasting print on this world, environmentally speaking?
Traditions
Traditionally, we have come to associate coffins and burials as common funeral practices in this country. We prayed and we visited graveyards. Since the 1980s, cremation has been an option in Ireland, and now there are six crematoria in the Republic. The closest one to us is in Shannon, Co. Clare; a serene, non-denominational facility, accommodating services for all faiths, beliefs and none.
Crematoriums
Shannon Crematorium is rural and idyllic and serves as a peaceful location for families to bring their loved ones for their final service. I first became aware of the existence of the Shannon Crematorium when, in 2017, my Mother, who also lives in Ennis, left me a voice message declaring its arrival: ‘Love, just to let you know, you won’t have to travel all the way to Ringaskiddy for me when my time comes’. What do you say to that?!
In 2014 when my lovely Dad died, we had journeyed to The Island Crematorium, in Ringaskiddy, Co. Cork, to celebrate his most wonderful life. Mam was happy out at the thought that she’d eventually (I hope not for another 20 years) save us the journey. We are funny humans really. We joke about death but we don’t necessarily want to talk about it or plan for it. But ‘the times they are a changin’ (Bob Dylan).
Last year roughly 26% of deaths resulted in cremation in Ireland, compared to 78% in the UK. There are other more environmentally friendly funeral rituals and services growing in popularity now, namely Woodland Burial Grounds and Resomation or Water Cremation.
Woodland and Eco Burials
Just recently, Clara and I paid a visit to Knockma Burial Grounds, in Tuam, Co. Galway. It is as tranquil and natural a setting as you can conjure, and ironically it is bursting with life. It is an established woodland, where a green and leafy space is purchased for burial, catering individually for customers’ requests. The place for service is all at the burial site, of which there is no more than one service per day. Knockma provides an alternative to a traditional graveyard where natural, local stone replaces headstones. It is earth friendly as the coffin, shroud or casket is made of untreated and biodegradable materials. Native trees can be planted as a memorial in the woodland grounds if desired. In Celtic Mythology, Oak is the tree of doors, believed to be a gateway between worlds.
In her poem The Doorway, Sarah Cox echoes this most cyclical and natural of transitions: ‘Peep through the doorway, And see the truth beyond. The darkened entrance, Simply hides the light behind the veil’. With forests acting as havens for immense, irreplaceable biodiversity, the shade the trees provide also help to save water. The site at Knockma falls under a legally binding restrictive covenant meaning that there can never be a change of land use. It is safe and protected. Together with the idea that trees symbolize strength and vitality, that they release oxygen and purify the air, in so many ways then, life really does go on. Emerson says that it is ‘to have succeeded’ ‘to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived’. This kind of a burial then, among trees, puts a whole new meaning on that.
‘If I listen quietly with my ear to the eternal,
I can hear the faint sound of music and laughter’
“The Doorway”, by Sarah Cox
Water Cremation
Elizabeth Oakes from Navan, Co. Meath owns Ireland’s only Resomarium. Resomation is water cremation or aquamation. And it is the greenest method of disposing of mortal remains. Since our bodies are made up of 70% water, this process returns us to our natural form. The water is returned to the Earth.
On her website www.purereflections.ie, Oakes describes her eco-friendly cremation facility as calming and reassuring. In her experience as an Embalmer, Celebrant and Funeral Director, she encourages conversations around death. She ponders on our careful planning when it comes to weddings and wonders why there isn’t the same preparation when it comes to funerals and funeral planning.
Let’s talk about Death
We are moving in the right direction with the existence of Death Cafes in Ireland (www.deathcafe.com). In an article from the Irish Independent in July of 2021, Bernie Folan, who has been running Galway’s Death Café since 2019, described them as a safe place where people can drink tea and have an open conversation about death. Elaborating, she explained that such honest conversations leave many feeling ‘liberated and relieved to have found somewhere to openly talk about what to many of us is fascinating: how to live life with eyes and hearts open and be ready when our time comes’. If there is a central message from Death Cafes then, it is that ‘if we can accept the finite nature of our days, we can live more intentionally before it is too late’. The Society for Irish Celebrants (www.iecs.ie) of which we at Coastal Ceremonies are members, also promote and host in person Death Café’s describing them as discussion groups, offered on a not for profit basis and operating with no agenda. When asked whether people cry at the gatherings, the consensus seems to be that yes, while there may be a few tears shed, there are more laughs laughed.
It makes sense that we talk about and think about what it is we would like after we die, as death is the only certainty. In The Doorway, Sarah Cox says ‘I know this party will beckon me’. Perhaps the pandemic accelerated new ways of marking deaths and celebrating lives. Funeral Celebrants are working with families on creative funeral planning, end of life rituals, memorial services, living funerals and ceremonies around the scattering and interment of ashes.
Let’s have the conversation
I love that there is choice around all of these Celebrant lead offerings, that our final service can incorporate a little of how we lived. Before we all ‘hear the faint sound of music and laughter’ and ‘dance the eternal dance’ in our ‘best outfit of light’, let’s have the conversation.
Funeral Suppliers
Shannon Crematorium: www.shannoncrematorium.com
Knockma Woodland Burial Grounds: www.knockmawoodlandburial.com
Resomation in Ireland: www.purereflections.ie
Death Café: www.deathcafe.com
My journey to becoming a Funeral Celebrant
I wrote a blog about my journey to becoming a Funeral Celebrant which you can read about here I would love to chat about funerals, choice and ceremony.
Orla x